I am feeling frustrated to the MAX with myself and money right now. Last year a friend of mine and I agreed we would go up to Ottawa to skate on the Canal and watch Question Period while the House was in session. Both of use are major political junkies. Only last year it didn't happen because of schedules and such. This year she she asked if I was still interested I said yes of course, this was before I became more money wise. We were going to do the trip on the cheep, crash on a friend's floor so we didn't have to pay accommodations. I had hoped and truly thought that I would have a car by now. My boyfriend had offered to join us and because he has a car drive us. She would rather have a girl's weekend of it, I understand but now its going to cost $155 plus tax to take the train.
I did not budget, I DID not budget, I DID NOT budget, I DID NOT BUDGET!!!!!!
And I am STRESSED over where the money for this weekend is coming from. I don't even want to go, but at the same time I hate that I am allowing myself to not be able to not enjoy something that only last year I would have enjoyed!! All the while I could say well if I only pay 300 in to my Line of credit and not put anything into my 10% fund I would have it covered. But I don't want to do that I WANT to have my line of credit down to $32,000!!! And I WANT to put money into my 10% fund. I seam to have had to many excuses of late for why I am not putting money into it. I would also have to dip into it a little to cover the cost of the ticket. I could maybe ask her if I could pay her the 100 now and the 55 + tax on the next play but at the same time I don't want to owe her any money. I WORKED SO HARD TO BE SUNDRY DEBY FREE!!
All the while I am still saving for this trip to Cuba which will enable me to complete my Duke of Ed one of my 2011 goals.
Add to all this my boyfriend earlier this week asked me how much I had in my car fund. I lead him to believe that it was up in the middle 2000's like 2700 or 2800 not 2500 which is what it currently is. I feel like a smuck, a fraud, a lier and a variety of other low life things. So of course I want to put a little bit of money into my car fund so as to boost it a little bit.
I'm frustrated with myself six ways to Sunday and I have no one to blame but me.... being responsible is such a Witch.
I did not budget, I DID not budget, I DID NOT budget, I DID NOT BUDGET!!!!!!
And I am STRESSED over where the money for this weekend is coming from. I don't even want to go, but at the same time I hate that I am allowing myself to not be able to not enjoy something that only last year I would have enjoyed!! All the while I could say well if I only pay 300 in to my Line of credit and not put anything into my 10% fund I would have it covered. But I don't want to do that I WANT to have my line of credit down to $32,000!!! And I WANT to put money into my 10% fund. I seam to have had to many excuses of late for why I am not putting money into it. I would also have to dip into it a little to cover the cost of the ticket. I could maybe ask her if I could pay her the 100 now and the 55 + tax on the next play but at the same time I don't want to owe her any money. I WORKED SO HARD TO BE SUNDRY DEBY FREE!!
All the while I am still saving for this trip to Cuba which will enable me to complete my Duke of Ed one of my 2011 goals.
Add to all this my boyfriend earlier this week asked me how much I had in my car fund. I lead him to believe that it was up in the middle 2000's like 2700 or 2800 not 2500 which is what it currently is. I feel like a smuck, a fraud, a lier and a variety of other low life things. So of course I want to put a little bit of money into my car fund so as to boost it a little bit.
I'm frustrated with myself six ways to Sunday and I have no one to blame but me.... being responsible is such a Witch.
O.K. now take a couple of deep breathes and calm down.
ReplyDeleteRome was not built in a day and your debts may not be coming down as quickly as you would like, but they are coming down, right !!!!
And your savings may not be going up as high as you would like but they are going up, right.....
I,m going to give you into trouble for lying even if it was a little white one, but why, it,s your car fund let it grow at your own pace.
And lastly girlfriends are like precious jewels to be treasured appreciated and worn, so have some girlfriend time and lighten up a bit, life,s too short.
Maureen, thank you so much!!! Ya I had been stressing over this for a few days and releasing it by blogging about it was most wonderful feeling. I felt like I wasn't suffering in silence. You right on all accounts. And I think I have managed to find a way to sort it all out. I will let you know in a bit when final numbers have been sorted out. I am so glad that I have this blog, having the support around me is exactly what I need since there are so few people I can talk about this stuff too.
ReplyDeleteRemember you only live once, so don't stress, have fun! life happens!
ReplyDeleteHS
thanks HS!
ReplyDelete