Well I was right, stupid me for telling her I was out of visa debt, because it came back to haunt me this morning when she throw it back in my face. And when I told her I was working hard to get out of her hair since she clearly felt I was a ball and chain around her neck she was silent. Silence from her is the most telling of answers.
Last November she made a promise to me that if I could save $2,000 she would double the amount for a car. Well I hit that by December and she has never come through with her promise. When I told her I had hit the target her response to me was she didn’t have the money”. She said “I’ll just have to continue to drive you to work until you can save more.” I wasn’t happy about it since I would have preferred she just not make the promise but I didn’t say anything. That January in the Boxing Day sales she went out and put a large flat screen TV on her credit car because it “had the lowest limit and was a small one.” Don’t ask me to justify / explain the reasoning, because I truly can’t. The irony to the whole thing is that she doesn’t like going to watch TV on it because it’s in the basement and the basement is cold and cluttered. Even more illogical was yesterday listening to her talk bout going to IKEA to buy bookcases to “change the way we have it done in the basement.” In the car today I didn’t mention anything about the bookcases; instead I told her if she was feeling so poor she should cut cable, or sell 1 of her 3 homes. She lashed out at me over cable and said “why should I compromise my life style!!”
Look the point if this little rant is not to say I have better money skills than my mom, though I think, she thinks, I think that way (did you follow that?). The point really is to say thank you!!! You have become my financial family. It’s becoming more and more clear that I can’t talk to my own family about this stuff; since I seam to get such hostility. I know my mom resents me with streaks of jealousy, she’ll never come out and say it; her behaviour is more telling than her words.
Thank you so much for cheering me along in this process of being debt free ASAP!!!
Are you saving to leave? I'm sorry you're in such a painful situation. It might be best to avoid talking about money at all if you are going to get that kind of pain back in return.
ReplyDeleteI would agree with FB. With some folk, any kind of money talk is toxic and you become damned if you do and damned if you don't. Continue to practice the budgeting skills you are learning and continue to save.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it hard to get others to see your dreams and motivation! So glad that you've found a support team with your fellow PF bloggers. I think that living a financially balanced life is a "process of continual improvement" and you need others that are in the same boat with you. Try to be patient with your mother and hopefully she will feel motivated in the future to see how stable you are. On the plus side, I was able to find a really good deal on my auto coverage and saved $60 monthly! YAY for smart spending :) Hope you enjoy your weekend - Vicky!
ReplyDeleteThe PF blogger community is great. We all have a similar mind set and can better understand and encourage each other. I think we all have people in our lives that aren't on board with how we are doing things. That is not to belittle how your mom is handling this. However, the reality is that you can't control how she reacts. You can only control you. So I agree with FB. You share certain things with certain people. The ones who will help you along on that particular path. That learning comes along with maturity and living life in general. We'll be your cheerleaders! Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate you're not getting the support you need at home, but we all love to read about your journey out of debt and into a more financially secure future. So keep it up! You're doing so well, and your sidebars are looking great :-)
ReplyDeletethanks guys. I agree I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut... I am just not very good at it. Maybe this is the time to start learning eh!
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree there are just some topics to stay away from with certain people. On the other hand you want your mom to be proud of you!
ReplyDeleteWell, there are a lot of us "older" folks still blogging about our personal finances and we love to cheer on the younger generation. I wish I had the money smarts you do when I was your age!