General Goals 1) to be debt free in 3.5 years 2) save lots of money

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Bits and Bites of Life

I wasn't going to post anything tonight because tomorrow is my test... I think. But I think I need to get a little bit off my chest.  If your not up for semi-rants than, I hope you have a wonderful night and stop by tomorrow. :)

First, the changes at work require everyone to get licensed. The job is calling for A&S however I argued that I should be allowed to do my full LLQP. My reasoning was there was no point in doing 1/2  credit when I could just do a full one. The management agreed and so I am doing my LLQP. Now everyone writes tomorrow or Thursday. I was told by my soon to be manager that I should expect to do it when everyone else is, that means I am not going to be given extra time. The normal completetion time for LLQP is 8 months I have 3. Since this is now a business requirement and I have to meet the business needs. However I am not feeling 100% confident, I asked my current mamager if it was possable to just write the A&S  exam tomorrow that way I could meet the currrent business requirents and progress through the LLQP at my leasure. He told me no, but he also came back with "according to Lisa [deptm head] you have not been scheduled to write the exam tomorrow." WHAT!!! Aspect which is our scheduling system has me been coming in early to work and booked off all day for training/A&S testing.' So now I have no idea what to expect when I walk in to class tomorrow.  I am not even sure what I want to have happen tomorrow. Part of me whats to get this thing over with and move on the other part wants it  to not happen so I can have more time... I think I should just get it over with.

Second, today I was having a conversation with my BF about tomrrow. He'd like to come out to see me after my test to play teenis with me. Now I don't play tennis, I mean I can't even manange to hit the ball let-a-lone make it travel anyplace. Tennis is like baseball, but I am willing to do it for shear shits and giggles. I know I am no Wimbledon candidate. The thing is I have something else on Wednsday's and haven't been able to go for over a month, I would much rather do that than tennis.  However I would love to see him so tennis it is. Unit we got talking about camping.

Let me explain a little about camping. For the past 3 years my BF has organized a camping trip where his whole group of friends get  together and drink and such. Not my idea of a good time, but last year I went and it didn't go as well as he would have liked. On our way home he told me that it was off and not to expect one for next year (2011).  In November I was selecting vacation time to book off for this year (2011) I asked my BF what days he wanted me to book off. He came up with nothing! I finally got form him that he would like me to book his Bday off. Fine done. That was it... nothing else NO other dates were given to me. April rolls around and he drops on me guess what we are doing the camping trip again this year, can you book the weekend off. I told him I would try the request was declined. As it stands I don't have the weekend off, I am now on flex and have no way to predict that I will even get the weekend off. Any ways the last time we chatted he said well I don't know about transportation, you have to get it off at a reasonable time if your coming.

TODAY  we chatted about it and I say look by than I'll have a car but if I can get it off it will because a guy at work is willing to switch shifts with me for his M-F 4pm-12am so I won't be up until after 12am Saturday. He responds with an ultimatum "well of all the things in the summer to go to with my group of friends this is it, if you can't be bothered to show we'll have to re-evaluate the relationship." I told him I would try my best and this is what he lays on me!! I am so enraged right now.

Part of me understands him, you see it will all be couples expect him (the organizer) if I don't show. He doesn't  want to loss face by saying 'Sarah had to work.'  He wants me to be his robin to his batman, if you catch my drift. BUT I am the one who will get ALL the blame if I don't show up, despite the fact that I asked in July of last year and again in November. I work for a LARGE multi-national company who does its workforce shift scheduling out of INDIA, they are not going to drop everything for me for a camping trip!!! The part that pisses me off is I ASKED HIM FOR DATES!!! and he gave me nothing, natta, zip until I pressed him about his Bday!

I am so frustrated with him that, if this is how he wants to play it he can dump me now! I can honestly say I am not 100% sure I want to see him tomorrow anymore. After everything that is going on with work I just want to be able to blow of steam (tomorrow) and if this is going to hang over my head, I don't want to do it with him.  Also I can't know if I can keep my mouth shut about all. I will likely say something to him about it tomorrow and it end up being our first 'real' fight, he will drive off mad and I just don't know were it will end up. He's going to be frustrated with me and I am with him on this topic. Tt Iill be all one big mess, nothing will get resolved. Should I let it blow up, i might end up single but if this is the inevitable maybe sooner is better than later. I don't know, I don't know.... there are too many balls in the air. And it all seams to hinge on me, Me getting a car, Me getting the time off, Me, Me, Me.

I am sorry I can't be perfect nor that I am willing to rush out and lease a new car. Frankly I don't think I would even qualify for one. I know he's frustrated with our relationship and with my job. But I told him before he even signed up for this gig that This is what I was going to be doing. 1) move home 2) get a job 3) pay off debt ASAP 4) get a second job or a 3rd one to pay of debt ASAP.  He asked me not to get a second job he was afraid it would impact 'us' time. So I don't have job #2 or #3. But that lack of income means that things are not going to happen at a snap of finger.

Thanks  for listening, now I should get back to studying since I have 100+ pages to go an an exam to pass or fail tomorrow.


  1. Good luck on the exam and with everything else. Can't say much more. Sorry and I hope everything works out.

  2. Hope the exam went okay. I hear your frustration. If it's meant to work out with your BF, it will. Otherwise, it may be time to move on. I hope it all works out how you'd like it to :)

  3. Don't be afraid to speak up, for the relationship to work you need to be open and honest and he needs to know how his behaviour is making you feel. If he doesn't give you the support to need, either he needs to work on it or, as babybluewater said, it may be time to move on.

    Good luck on your exam :-)

  4. It's certainly not worth putting up with so much crap from the bf just so as not to be single. My daughter went through something similar, her bf was pretty controlling. It was hard for her to break it off because they spent all their time together but she's so much happier now being single.
    That being said I hope he comes round and understands the position you are in.